Why do we even have the concept of "world peace"? Granted that it is just a term popularly used in beauty paegents but I have come across related terms and hopes in other places too. If repatriation after a relatively short time of geographical distance can get this complicated, how can people think of living in peace with other people who resemble them only in being human beings and whom they have never met?
Culture is deadlier than the nuclear bomb!
After coping with questions and comments ranging from why we have no kids despite being married four years (people are openly skeptical when I say it is from choice and that we do not have infertility issues) to the finer details of the reasons behind hiring a cook...
(Apparently it is automatically implied that I can't cook and we have plenty of money to throw around. Neither's true...what is true is our priorities are radically different from that of the people around us...another reason to feel out of place!)
... and everything else in between, I am beginning to develop culture phobia, unfortunately towards home country. I thought material homelessness was painful....wait till you begin to experience cultural homelessness!
This takes me back to my last few days at my workplace back in Cleveland. I informed a client that I was moving back to India and she asked me "Why? Don't you love our freedoms here?" and I replied, "I have pretty much the same freedoms in India". I am beginning to wonder if I had gone to work in a doped up state that day...same freedoms indeed! I'd bet you my last pair of boots that like everything else in this darned place even freedom comes in disguise...either that or individual freedom of thought and acceptance of differences is pretty much non-existent.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
A maid or a crab???
I think I should write a book called "Chronicals of the Maid"! My maid finally left me...like a crab walking sideways, she slid out of employment! I cannot even fathom why she could not simply tell us she's leaving and then leave! Her departure steps;
1. I will come twice a day instead of once ( I said no...once is bad enough considering the wait involved, twice would mean I would have to wait home all day)
2. I will bring my sister and we will share the chores ( after lengthy discussions of how the chores and payment should be divided between the two, this was okayed)
3. She turns up the next day with her "sister" and seems to be explaining all the duties to her. On questioning she says, she's going away to her village for a month so her "sister" will work this month and she will return to her duties here next month.
4. Then, it turns out the "sister" is uncomfortable about starting off all by herself so she is entreating this woman to come here with her for a few days...
5. Obviously we ask if she's not going to her village after all and she says no!
6. Finally we dumbos get the message that she wants to terminate her employment (grand words for a crab but I don't know what else to say! except may be that she's abandoning this hole!)
7. All this while my poor husband being the more proficient of us in the local language was trying to clarify the situation with these two women...and they were doing what women do best...fall into consulting each other on the silliest pretext and giggling endlessly...
8. When asked to clarify their relationship, both together reported with a straight face that they are "sisters"...the minute the previous maid left, the new one declared, "I am a Brahmin...we are Maharaj"...Ok I am really not interested in my maid's caste and lineage...I just want my Goddammmmm Work done...SISTERS my ass! They are not even remotely related... and the final touch...
9. My previous maid came by later for her salary and told us to call her if this maid doesn't do her job well...Phew!!
Man! I really didn't know how good I had it in America cleaning my own shit...
1. I will come twice a day instead of once ( I said no...once is bad enough considering the wait involved, twice would mean I would have to wait home all day)
2. I will bring my sister and we will share the chores ( after lengthy discussions of how the chores and payment should be divided between the two, this was okayed)
3. She turns up the next day with her "sister" and seems to be explaining all the duties to her. On questioning she says, she's going away to her village for a month so her "sister" will work this month and she will return to her duties here next month.
4. Then, it turns out the "sister" is uncomfortable about starting off all by herself so she is entreating this woman to come here with her for a few days...
5. Obviously we ask if she's not going to her village after all and she says no!
6. Finally we dumbos get the message that she wants to terminate her employment (grand words for a crab but I don't know what else to say! except may be that she's abandoning this hole!)
7. All this while my poor husband being the more proficient of us in the local language was trying to clarify the situation with these two women...and they were doing what women do best...fall into consulting each other on the silliest pretext and giggling endlessly...
8. When asked to clarify their relationship, both together reported with a straight face that they are "sisters"...the minute the previous maid left, the new one declared, "I am a Brahmin...we are Maharaj"...Ok I am really not interested in my maid's caste and lineage...I just want my Goddammmmm Work done...SISTERS my ass! They are not even remotely related... and the final touch...
9. My previous maid came by later for her salary and told us to call her if this maid doesn't do her job well...Phew!!
Man! I really didn't know how good I had it in America cleaning my own shit...
A walk in flowered dust and rain...
Went out for a walk this evening, my nose thanked me for giving it a chance to breathe in the wonderful fragrance of plumeria and jasmine and my eyes kicked my butt for feeding it finely ground dust...and the rains saw fit to come down when I was still some ways from home and soak me to the skin...
Got back home for a hot shower and hot hot cilantro theplas...yum yummmmm....
Got back home for a hot shower and hot hot cilantro theplas...yum yummmmm....
Monday, August 23, 2010
Progress as a repat...
I now have a cook added to my employees along with the maid and I must say it is a funny experience. My cook wanted to know all about my life in America and one of the first things she asks me is about the availability of household help. When I told her, it was difficult and expensive, so we did it all ourselves, she commiserated with me about how hard it must have been; and then said don't go back to America, life is much better here, you get lots of help...! I did not have the heart to explain the demographics and economics surrounding the availability of household help but she was geniuinely concerned and that was touching.
My maid continues to be as impertinent as ever asking me why we use all three bathrooms rather than sticking to one when it's just the two of us ( Maybe, I should have told her that's because she does the cleaning and not me!!) exclaiming over the number of undergaments used by my husband, telling me not to dirty the kitchen if I do something in there soon after she cleans up...she's a trip but she's funny and keeps the place clean and more importantly takes care of my plants when I go out of town, so I hope she doesn't leave in a fit of capriciousness!
So, my new life's making progress...what with a cook and a maid, I have so much more time to focus on my repat miseries...haha!
My maid continues to be as impertinent as ever asking me why we use all three bathrooms rather than sticking to one when it's just the two of us ( Maybe, I should have told her that's because she does the cleaning and not me!!) exclaiming over the number of undergaments used by my husband, telling me not to dirty the kitchen if I do something in there soon after she cleans up...she's a trip but she's funny and keeps the place clean and more importantly takes care of my plants when I go out of town, so I hope she doesn't leave in a fit of capriciousness!
So, my new life's making progress...what with a cook and a maid, I have so much more time to focus on my repat miseries...haha!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Holy Cow Sarah! Really???
Today my mood is thoughtful…pensive. Did Sarah McDonald really need to publish her memoir about her time in India? She undoubtedly has a right to do it, nevertheless is it necessary to dispense with cultural and emotional sensitivity as completely as she has done?
Her writing is good, many times, I found myself laughing uncontrollably and even empathizing with her on some of her experiences. By dint of transforming contradictions to caricatures, she has managed to keep the humor going throughout the book. Her basic attitude can be simply termed as “poking fun” at all and sundry. The truly heartbreaking thing about it is most of her wit is a result of her lack of discernment and acuity into the culture and conditions of this society.
I know that India can be an overwhelming experience, especially for people born and raised in less populated, better-organized, simple monocultural societies. I am Indian, I cannot even pretend to begin to understand this diverse, tangled country of mine, and she has disposed of every aspect of this country in a shallow, flippant manner. If she aimed at caustic wit, she did not reach there, as there is no depth of perspicacity, just a superficial satire.
The key concepts of her plot like the airport beggar foretelling her future, her wish for bigger breasts being granted her albeit as a disease, the astrologer in Rishikesh coming up with correct predictions; all sound like blatant falsehoods created to give her “memoir” some significance. As otherwise, it would read like a tiresome travelogue of a bored foreigner unable to engage with the country where she happens to be a reluctant visitor.
The Indian government does not interfere with people’s religious beliefs in the name of bureaucracy, city governance or urban planning which is as it should be and the author terms it “inefficiency”. (Ref to Parsi Dakhmas)
There is no beautiful piece of land in India, every single square foot is dirty, dusty, dry, hot, stinky, muddy…the negatives are endless. She professes to understand the concept of multiple paths to God endorsed by Hinduism and persists in giving frivolous descriptions of different Hindu Gods.
I could analyze her book to bits and continue to ramble some, so I will stop here. This is not the first book about India written by a western visitor that paints such a starkly depressing picture of the country. Most of them invariably begin with extreme reactions and end up making peace with it under the “India is a land of contradictions with exotic eastern spirituality” theory. “Holy Cow” is no different.
The problem as I see it is developed nations function based on a “mainstream society” which also happens to be the majority population. There is a clear demarcation between the center and the periphery and it is obvious who is who and what is what and where you stand in relation to society the moment you land there. India has no such clearly defined mainstream. If you like, you can define Hindus as the majority population based on statistics but that does not translate to mainstream. Here everyone is mainstream. External visitors are fond of searching for the real India and gravitate towards urban slums and poor villages, which makes no sense. Why on earth are Modern India and Rich India considered illusory siblings of the poor and ancient?
India is not contradictory; she is all-inclusive. Every person, every thing, every culture and every attitude has a place up front and center thus creating a rich textured, multi layered social fabric that defies any attempts at mainstreaming and classification. No wonder, the wandering stranger ends up confused and bewildered at the gazillion seeming contradictions that attack his startled gaze. It’s like being locked up with Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael and the rest of the Renaissance gang and their art with perspective and proportion since you were born and one fine day being kicked out on your ass and asked to appreciate and enjoy 21st century abstraction art with its pluralistic “whatever” attitude!
Her writing is good, many times, I found myself laughing uncontrollably and even empathizing with her on some of her experiences. By dint of transforming contradictions to caricatures, she has managed to keep the humor going throughout the book. Her basic attitude can be simply termed as “poking fun” at all and sundry. The truly heartbreaking thing about it is most of her wit is a result of her lack of discernment and acuity into the culture and conditions of this society.
I know that India can be an overwhelming experience, especially for people born and raised in less populated, better-organized, simple monocultural societies. I am Indian, I cannot even pretend to begin to understand this diverse, tangled country of mine, and she has disposed of every aspect of this country in a shallow, flippant manner. If she aimed at caustic wit, she did not reach there, as there is no depth of perspicacity, just a superficial satire.
The key concepts of her plot like the airport beggar foretelling her future, her wish for bigger breasts being granted her albeit as a disease, the astrologer in Rishikesh coming up with correct predictions; all sound like blatant falsehoods created to give her “memoir” some significance. As otherwise, it would read like a tiresome travelogue of a bored foreigner unable to engage with the country where she happens to be a reluctant visitor.
The Indian government does not interfere with people’s religious beliefs in the name of bureaucracy, city governance or urban planning which is as it should be and the author terms it “inefficiency”. (Ref to Parsi Dakhmas)
There is no beautiful piece of land in India, every single square foot is dirty, dusty, dry, hot, stinky, muddy…the negatives are endless. She professes to understand the concept of multiple paths to God endorsed by Hinduism and persists in giving frivolous descriptions of different Hindu Gods.
I could analyze her book to bits and continue to ramble some, so I will stop here. This is not the first book about India written by a western visitor that paints such a starkly depressing picture of the country. Most of them invariably begin with extreme reactions and end up making peace with it under the “India is a land of contradictions with exotic eastern spirituality” theory. “Holy Cow” is no different.
The problem as I see it is developed nations function based on a “mainstream society” which also happens to be the majority population. There is a clear demarcation between the center and the periphery and it is obvious who is who and what is what and where you stand in relation to society the moment you land there. India has no such clearly defined mainstream. If you like, you can define Hindus as the majority population based on statistics but that does not translate to mainstream. Here everyone is mainstream. External visitors are fond of searching for the real India and gravitate towards urban slums and poor villages, which makes no sense. Why on earth are Modern India and Rich India considered illusory siblings of the poor and ancient?
India is not contradictory; she is all-inclusive. Every person, every thing, every culture and every attitude has a place up front and center thus creating a rich textured, multi layered social fabric that defies any attempts at mainstreaming and classification. No wonder, the wandering stranger ends up confused and bewildered at the gazillion seeming contradictions that attack his startled gaze. It’s like being locked up with Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael and the rest of the Renaissance gang and their art with perspective and proportion since you were born and one fine day being kicked out on your ass and asked to appreciate and enjoy 21st century abstraction art with its pluralistic “whatever” attitude!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Of Thunderstorms and gay peacocks...
The mayor of Ahmedabad prayed for rains, he, along with temple priests performed a Yajna sitting in huge copper cauldrons of water around the fire...hmmm...not sure if the cauldron was part of the ritual or just an ingenious way of coping with having to sit around a burning fire on a burning hot day. However, that's beside the point. A couple days after invoking the Rain God, the heavens opened up and drenched these dry lands in torrents. Monsoon has arrived in earnest. Now the days are blessedly cloudy and the temperature hovers in the balmy F80s...what bliss! I can't get enough of staring at the rains and standing in the balcony to soak in the spray. If I were younger or less self-conscious, I would have gone out to the courtyard, unfurled my non-existent feathers and danced like a peacock...but I am neither younger nor un-self-conscious, so that's a moot point.
Speaking of peacocks, heard something quirky the other day. There's a peacock around here somewhere that apparently loves men and hates women. He is very friendly towards the men who visit him but God forbid a woman tries to get close to him! He chases them down and tries to peck them to death...yes...these pecks are no little birdie kisses but serious attempts to draw flesh. I wonder, is this a case of a "gay peacock" who doesn't want the human being to be in anyway confused about his sexuality or a simple misogynist? What is being done about this? Nothing. The peacock is free to roam and attack any unsuspecting woman in the vicinity. Whatever...too bad this isn't the US of A where NOW would have called for stringent action against the peacock and PETA would have strongly objected and requested a psych analyses to check for PTSD and the bird would be clapped up behind bars for sure. But this is India, the land of infinite patience and acceptance...so what if this poor peacock hates women? It is peacock karma...so what if it seriously hurts a woman...it's the woman's fate...Hey Ram! Don't you get it?!
Speaking of peacocks, heard something quirky the other day. There's a peacock around here somewhere that apparently loves men and hates women. He is very friendly towards the men who visit him but God forbid a woman tries to get close to him! He chases them down and tries to peck them to death...yes...these pecks are no little birdie kisses but serious attempts to draw flesh. I wonder, is this a case of a "gay peacock" who doesn't want the human being to be in anyway confused about his sexuality or a simple misogynist? What is being done about this? Nothing. The peacock is free to roam and attack any unsuspecting woman in the vicinity. Whatever...too bad this isn't the US of A where NOW would have called for stringent action against the peacock and PETA would have strongly objected and requested a psych analyses to check for PTSD and the bird would be clapped up behind bars for sure. But this is India, the land of infinite patience and acceptance...so what if this poor peacock hates women? It is peacock karma...so what if it seriously hurts a woman...it's the woman's fate...Hey Ram! Don't you get it?!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Life feels funny again...
A female school teacher turns out be a bootlegger! This a dry state, an anachronism in these times especially considering this is one of the most industrialized states of India. How can industries flourish and business deals smoothened out without the mellowing influence of alcohol eh? They cannot and they don't have to when you have enterprising school teachers selling IMLF, for the ignornant, that is Indian Made Foreign Liquor - whatever that means! Apparently the woman's husband had no clue about her moonlighting as a liquor baroness. Really?! That is intriguing. Did the woman not store the liquor in the house then? Or was she hiding it in kitchen corners and sneaking it in and out in the voluminious folds of her sari? Now that I think about it, it is a possibility, he probably never enters the kitchen nor...no the sari is best left alone!
But...I am still awestruck....An Indian Woman who can be a school teacher and a Bootlegger at the same time?!
Check this out - They decide to increase the number of buses plying in Ahmedabad city and twenty brand new buses are prayerfully inducted to the existing fleet of buses. Duly decked up and garlanded they are paraded to the general public. And what does the fond public do? In their joy and excitement, in their loving anxiety to take a peek into the beautiful interiors of the bus, they clamber all over it and end up unwittingly destroying the windows. Last I heard seven of the gorgeous new twenty have gone into surgery...
But...I am still awestruck....An Indian Woman who can be a school teacher and a Bootlegger at the same time?!
Check this out - They decide to increase the number of buses plying in Ahmedabad city and twenty brand new buses are prayerfully inducted to the existing fleet of buses. Duly decked up and garlanded they are paraded to the general public. And what does the fond public do? In their joy and excitement, in their loving anxiety to take a peek into the beautiful interiors of the bus, they clamber all over it and end up unwittingly destroying the windows. Last I heard seven of the gorgeous new twenty have gone into surgery...
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