First rains and spiritual joys...

It rained yesterday. I woke up from my afternoon nap to find the world enveloped in a pearly pink haze and the wind blowing strong, chasing immense amounts of dust in all different directions. And then, it rained. The first rains, especially in this part of the country feels so unbelievably glorious that you feel as though you've suddenly broken through the gates of hell and reached heaven!! Ok...too much exaggeration maybe and I don't really know what that feels like anyways...but truly, you not only feel a lift in your mood but also sense your entire body, mind and soul rejoicing in the event...the strength probably comes from the fact that every creature around here, human being, animal, bird or reptile is happy when the rains begin. It is almost like collective spiritual joy and you crave to squeeze out every last bit of beauty from it. The feel of it, the smell of it, the taste of it, the sight of it....

Sadly it ended almost before it began around my place...apparently on the outskirts of the city it rained a lot.

Can't think of many things in life that induce such an exquisite feeling of joy and wellbeing like the first rains after a torrid summer in the arid regions of Western India. 

What is home? Is it a personal concept or a political one?

I was up half the night reading Tiger Hills by Sarita Mandanna and was captivated by her vivid descriptions and fast paced plot. It being historical fiction set in my hometown of Coorg, I was further intrigued by the fascinating glimpses this book provided on the development of Coorg under European but chiefly British influence, their club culture, pioneering coffee plantation, influence on language, food and costumes but most of all their gift of education. Despite all this bonhomie between the colonizers and locals, albeit with lingering superiority on the part of the colonizers and distrust and equally lingering superiority amongst the locals, generations of Europeans continued to make Coorg their home, until the Nationalist movement and impending freedom from British rule, wrenched the connection apart and the Europeans left en-mass.

It made me wonder the question of "home", again. What is home? The Coorg-European relationship was free from formal struggle and surrender, the Coorgs having actually invited the British in as an ally against Tipu Sultan who was hellbent on not only annexing Coorg for Mysore State but even went in for forced conversions of Coorgs into Islam. So, despite starting off as allies, the relationship ended pretty much the same as it did everywhere else when India gained independence. The Europeans were the outsiders and they had to get. out. now. Seemingly, nothing that they had done over a few generations, qualified towards them considering Coorg their home as well. 

I am not romanticizing the colonizers here. Political supremacy and racial superiority as a collective evil did exist. However, beneath all this, there was also the matter of simple human connection, relationships built on shared land, society and economics. How easily that seems to have disappeared in the face of political freedom!

Why am I obsessing about this question of home?Well for one, I have been pondering this question ever since I first became an expat in the US and continued to ponder the question when I moved back as a repatriate. For another, home truly seems to have become an amorphous concept today.

Today, in the modern world, moving around from place to place in search of security and stability with even international borders feeling porous, what is home? Can any place where we settle down and be productive be called home? If this is so, then is there a place in our life for our heritage?

The Europeans had to get out of Coorg, because no matter what goodies they brought into the land, their heritage branded them as outsiders. Does this attitude hold good even today?

Although, individually we do not take up significant political space when we "move" to another country, will collective appropriation of economic space be considered consuming political space by default and thus come across as undesirable at some point? Does this mean, the meaning of home will always be in a state of flux changing with shifting fortunes and attitudes?

What is home? Any ideas, anybody?

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Of Gandhiji and life in the check-out lane...

I was out shopping for groceries yesterday, deliberately chose a weekday morning as weekends are a downright bedlam in stores like Reliance and Big Bazaar. Then, I realized I had forgotten to count in the stay at homers...the stay at home, home-maker and mommy brigade was out in full force....oooooops!! I am a stay at homer too, aren't I??? Dang Dang!! Anyways...

The store was choke full of women, some with their houseboys (young male, jack of all trades live in servant) in tow piling their carts with enough fruit, vegetables and dry goods to outlast a famine but the ultimate joke was one such lady at the check out counter. Her cart looked as though she was planning on feeding a houseful of wedding guests, the amount of cash in her hand and the bored looking houseboy beside her did not by any means scream that she lacked for money...but she held up the line for a full half hour after her stuff had been priced and packed, haggling over the total, a couple coupons in hand and a bag of sugar going back and forth between her and the cashier. The coupons were worth a hundred rupees by the way, but her total bill was undoubtedly somewhere in the thousands. 

The lines were serpentine in every counter and the others and I in this line just kept waiting, thinking at least her stuff has been checked out, so there's no point in moving to the end of another long line - and ended up irritated and tired. At one point, I wondered if I should step in and ask her to stop haggling and leave, I mean, if she is that fond of saving every penny and bargaining for her rights, she shouldn't be shopping in a busy supermarket...she would be better off going to one of those veggie vendors whose prices go down dramatically the more you buy from them and the the local kirana stores where she can quibble and haggle to her heart's content while the shop fellow engages with her and serves ten other customers at the same time. He doesn't have to worry about fancy cashier machines, that won't let the cashier in a supermarket multi-task but accepts only one payment at a time!

But of course I did not do any such thing, can you imagine the fracas that would have resulted if I had done so? In a minute there would be a mob, two parties and for lack of stones to pelt( stone pelting is very hot on the hot streets here this summer) we would start pelting packets of potato chips and bottles of juice, both being the handiest items near the check out counter!

More and more, as the days go by in this hot hot summer, I tire of city life and look for ways to simplify. It is ironic that I should live in the city that houses Gandhi Ashram and dream of a simple life but remain absolutely clueless on how to make it happen here. But then again, the only simple spot in this city is the Gandhi Ashram. If you go in there and walk around the large open grounds, stand by the banks of river Sabarmati and take in the cool simplicity of the buildings standing under the shade of beautiful old trees it's hard to believe that life can or should be anything but simple living and high thinking like Gandhiji advocated. Then, you come out of the ashram gates to be stared at by the glaring face of  21st century, urban India and thoughts of simplicity simply flee like frightened rabbits...


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The New India...Where a Millionaire's daughter is my maid...???

It's been a long time since I wrote something here. Having fallen into a lethargy brought about by this stunning heat and focussed on survival and future plans, words kinda disappeared from my life...until today!

My maid came in requesting that I allow her to change her timings from morning to evening for a few days as she is busy scouting for a house that her father would buy for her. Ok, sounds reasonable...and then she goes on to say, he sold some land for a few million rupees...in fact just a little short of a million dollars and check this out, he only sold half his land!! So of course his darling daughter gets a house and some 50 odd tolas (don't ask me for conversions, the mind boggles simply at the thought of calmly paying cash for all this stuff) of gold, her older sister already owns three houses so she gets some 100 odd tolas of Gold.

Ok...and that's not all, apparently her brother has been dealing in gold bullions and has had some stacked up already so his sisters need not look far to buy their mighty tolas of gold. And then she says, I kept meaning to ask you if you wanted to buy gold from my brother but I feared that "Bhaiya" meaning DH, would wonder what these people are upto approaching me to buy gold....well I don't know what he would think about them but he would definitely be concerned for me if I suddenly started talking about buying gold bars and biscuits! When our house was burgled last year my first thought was for my "antique looking" Nataraj statue, thoughts of my gold only came much later but on the other hand my dear, I do have a lot of dreams and plans that require a lot of cold hard cash. So may be you could convince your "papa" to start a interest free, take as long as you want to pay back loan business!!! I would definitely sign up for that!!

All this while, she was calmly doing my dishes and was about start on my clothes....yeeks, the clothes I wear these days, especially my home-wear Ts are old, worn out, shabbily out of shape with a hole or two...simply because they are the most comfy clothes I can find to wear in this atrocious weather...hmmm, should I explain that to her? I mean, she might be thinking, forget buying gold, this woman seems to be unable to buy clothes even...Good God!  What a sobering, saddening thought!

On a serious note, this is actually a common phenomena here these days...rural farmers and landowners are becoming millionaires overnight due to the urban sprawl hiking up land prices in the surrounding areas. The developers of course make obscene amounts of money so in comparison what these people receive is probably a pittance and the implications of this kind of progress...better left un-thought! But then again, who said progress and development is clean, cool and linear...it is a messy messy process and that's where we stand now as a country and a people...one more thing to ponder over if you wish to move back. Do you have the patience to live in a messily progressing country? Or are you too comfortable in an already developed environment? A maid with a millionaire father is a non-issue compared to everything else that you have to get used to when you move back.


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Bleakness in Summer...

A year ago, I was under the impression that nothing could be bleaker than the endless winters of Cleveland, Ohio. The bitter cold and grayed out sunless skies that would last for days together gave you this eerie feeling of being buried alive. Until today...
The doctor tells me that my problem is inability to adjust to this climate as the temperature's steadily soaring...he gave me more medications and advised me to take it slow, stay home, drown myself in drinks (the non-alcoholic kind!) inside and out and stay out of the sun...
So, essentially he is telling me I am going into a decline because of the heat and I need to spend the next how many ever days mollycoddling myself...if that means till the end of summer I am dead...From the endless winters of Cleveland to the endless summers of Ahmedabad...What a life!! Be careful what you wish for dearies, all that wishing for sunshine that I indulged in over the last few years in the US has been granted me with one big bang right now and boy does it hurt!!
So the next few months I am scheduled to stay home...and do what else? Read myself blind I suppose! I felt buried alive in Cleveland but I am truly buried alive here...Hmmmm maybe it's time for me to get out of here....Can't believe that the land I grew up in is turning against me with a vengeance...sighhh....


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Polyandry Advocacy Club Anybody?

...Shocked? Scandalized? Read on Dahlings!!

In my previous post, I moaned n groaned about a possible typhoid relapse. After waiting out the mandatory 48 hours with my fever showing no sign of loving me any less, we went back to the doctor today...I was expecting a typhoid relapse verdict and was all set to work on kicking the little bugs(gers) out of my system again and the doc states it doesn't look like typhoid...it's probably something else!! So after shelling out some more bodily fluids for some more tests we came back home...results will be out in the evening.

Anyways, to get back to my point...

I spent the past couple days home alone alternately starving my fever and throwing things at it (read pills) as DH had to go out of town on business. Yes...my illnesses dare not be an excuse for him to cancel his plans anymore as they are too much and too frequent...after all somebody's got to pay my medical bills! And make sure we don't end up homeless, which if left to me seems to be a distinct possibility! The cook and the maid can do all I need and my books have always given me awesome company. However, none of these can be a real substitute for your husband or wife...so you see where I am going with this?

By the time DH came back home, I was ready to do some gentle in home socializing with an actual human being...which means, I would lie on the couch like a pathetic little sickie, DH would sit beside me holding my hand and engage me in gentle low voiced conversation on mellow topics perfectly suited to an invalid. 

The reality? This pathetic little sickie is on the couch clutching her kindle while DH is sitting beside me clunking away on his laptop...which he has been doing ever since he came home yesterday ( he calls it "follow up" work...after that he needs to focus on "move forward" work). ?????? WHAT am I supposed to do??? SO, I decided to take a stand to ensure my wellbeing as well...the solution?

I will take a lesson from ancient history...(Nothing new eh? We Indians are so fond of referring back to our glorious history and culture every chance we get)...Heck! my life needs a new purpose outside of exploring the wonderful world of tropical diseases...I will go back to the Mahabharata and emulate my dear Draupadi (will also ignore the teensy weensy fact that she ended up with five husbands by mistake!) I will begin Polyandry Advocacy.

The first step is to walk the talk...so I informed DH I need a second spouse, quite definitely unemployed and DH can have the privilege of supporting us both! DH reaction...Thunder and Hailstorm!!...Fireworks, Verbal Bombs, copious tears and going down on his knees to beg my pardon....ah! how sweet is fantasy....REALITY - flying kiss aimed somewhere over my right shoulder which went right out the large windows behind me and even louder clunking! And Horror of horrors! One hand is reaching out for his "out of body mouth and brain"...his cell phone...fizzle...phish...whimper.... whimper...

Any supportive voices out there? Anyone interested in joining me to form a Polyandry Advocacy club?....     (Most definitely not interested in helping form a Polygamy Advocacy Club...yeah yeah I am happily unfair)


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Moving back to India? Preventative Health Measures...

It looks like my typhoid fever is back again after  a couple weeks' break. How I wish I had taken some preventative measures before leaving the US! I never even so much as thought about it.

Much as we would like to think ourselves Indian and the matter of moving back as simply getting up and getting back home, it is not so. Whether we like it or not, long term stay in a country like the US changes us physically as well. 

This is not to say that everybody who moves back will be prone to illnesses the way I have been. However, if I had but given it a though I would have realized some of this before I moved. The only problem I had while growing up in India was health issues. I would very often have little niggling problems ranging from respiratory infections to allergies and sinus inflammation. The healthiest I have ever been was in the US. So, having gotten my body used to the environment there, I should have been a tad more thoughtful before hurling myself onto the relatively harsher environment here.

What would I have done differently?

1. Considered vaccination and immunizations options before moving.

2. Moved during the Winter months.

3 Being very careful and taking my first year as easy as possible - stayed put in one place as much as I could instead of running around and travelling like the world would come to an end tomorrow - Tried my darnedest not to use public restrooms - Avoided eating out as opposed to frequently eating out ( You would think that that would be a no-brainer except it is kinda hard when you step out of home in the evenings and come smack upon deliciously spicy aromas all around you from street food vendors to cafes and restaurants !!SO, GUARD AGAINST TEMPTATION!) In my defense, Food addiction seems to be a major issue in this city and just happens to be another one of those contagious diseases that you can easily catch upon moving here. Ok...to put it in a nutshell placed myself under voluntary house arrest for at least a year.

Why do I keep saying "a year"? Apparently, the human body needs to experience one complete cycle of seasons to thoroughly acclimatize itself to new environments. 

The key is to be extremely careful and guarded when it comes to issues of health and personal property when you move back to India. The casual, carefree attitude fostered in you by the relatively comfortable lifestyle in fully developed nations is best left behind when you move back home.

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