Friday, April 1, 2011

Polyandry Advocacy Club Anybody?

...Shocked? Scandalized? Read on Dahlings!!

In my previous post, I moaned n groaned about a possible typhoid relapse. After waiting out the mandatory 48 hours with my fever showing no sign of loving me any less, we went back to the doctor today...I was expecting a typhoid relapse verdict and was all set to work on kicking the little bugs(gers) out of my system again and the doc states it doesn't look like typhoid...it's probably something else!! So after shelling out some more bodily fluids for some more tests we came back home...results will be out in the evening.

Anyways, to get back to my point...

I spent the past couple days home alone alternately starving my fever and throwing things at it (read pills) as DH had to go out of town on business. Yes...my illnesses dare not be an excuse for him to cancel his plans anymore as they are too much and too frequent...after all somebody's got to pay my medical bills! And make sure we don't end up homeless, which if left to me seems to be a distinct possibility! The cook and the maid can do all I need and my books have always given me awesome company. However, none of these can be a real substitute for your husband or wife...so you see where I am going with this?

By the time DH came back home, I was ready to do some gentle in home socializing with an actual human being...which means, I would lie on the couch like a pathetic little sickie, DH would sit beside me holding my hand and engage me in gentle low voiced conversation on mellow topics perfectly suited to an invalid. 

The reality? This pathetic little sickie is on the couch clutching her kindle while DH is sitting beside me clunking away on his laptop...which he has been doing ever since he came home yesterday ( he calls it "follow up" work...after that he needs to focus on "move forward" work). ?????? WHAT am I supposed to do??? SO, I decided to take a stand to ensure my wellbeing as well...the solution?

I will take a lesson from ancient history...(Nothing new eh? We Indians are so fond of referring back to our glorious history and culture every chance we get)...Heck! my life needs a new purpose outside of exploring the wonderful world of tropical diseases...I will go back to the Mahabharata and emulate my dear Draupadi (will also ignore the teensy weensy fact that she ended up with five husbands by mistake!) I will begin Polyandry Advocacy.

The first step is to walk the talk...so I informed DH I need a second spouse, quite definitely unemployed and DH can have the privilege of supporting us both! DH reaction...Thunder and Hailstorm!!...Fireworks, Verbal Bombs, copious tears and going down on his knees to beg my pardon....ah! how sweet is fantasy....REALITY - flying kiss aimed somewhere over my right shoulder which went right out the large windows behind me and even louder clunking! And Horror of horrors! One hand is reaching out for his "out of body mouth and brain"...his cell phone...fizzle...phish...whimper.... whimper...

Any supportive voices out there? Anyone interested in joining me to form a Polyandry Advocacy club?....     (Most definitely not interested in helping form a Polygamy Advocacy Club...yeah yeah I am happily unfair)

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8 comments:

  1. I am cracking up as I read this :) Mallika

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  2. I completely relate. I too have had ongoing tropical sicknesses and my husband also thinks that sitting next to me on his laptop doing "follow up work" equals quality togetherness time. Sheesh. (Or should I say aray bhagwan!?) Anyhow, I am not ready for polyandry just yet. Maybe cloning though? Any thoughts? I feel it would somehow be more faithful and maybe if one husband is working, the clone would not feel the need to let his workaholic personality come out.

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  3. This was such a hoot to read! I adored the fantasy scene!!

    However, I do feel for you—and I know something of which you speak, having had my own long years of PTSD and related health problems and finding hubby to only sometimes be the good listener/companion that I needed.

    He, too, is often out of town on business. And I live in a city where we have no social life (we came here for a job for hubby—and that's not the first time I've followed him faithfully to places that felt like I was being dragged to a new state that was never on my radar—and with no like-minded people within sight once we get there).

    I don't know about taking on another husband, though. What if the new one turned out to be someone who understands writers and emotional people with lots of health issues even LESS than my dear, logical MEH?

    MEH = My Engineer Husband. First coined by Julia at the wordsxo blog http://www.wordsxo.com

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  4. I also loved this! You are soooo funny! I'm glad that Milliver's Travels told me about your blog post. Cracking up, indeed! Hope you'll check out my blog, for my take on life with MEH.

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  5. "The reality? This pathetic little sickie is on the couch clutching her kindle while DH is sitting beside me clunking away on his laptop...which he has been doing ever since he came home yesterday ( he calls it "follow up" work...after that he needs to focus on "move forward" work). ?????? WHAT am I supposed to do??? SO, I decided to take a stand to ensure my wellbeing as well...the solution?" Hahahahahaha... Vijay, I am with you :)

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  6. Heramb...Birds of a feather flock together?

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  7. Too funny. Came back to reread the comments on this one only to find out we now have a DH conspiracy going on, with Heramb siding with Vijay. But there are more of us. ;~)

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  8. Yes! The men are outnumbered here!

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